Jerry’s New Car
The following story is a little bit long, but is well worth the time it takes to read. I hope you enjoy it, because it's an absolute accurate description of one of my life's many adventures.
When my family and I lived in Broughtontown, Lincoln County, Kentucky during the 1970's, we had many good friends and neighbors. Among them were Jim and Lucy Middleton, who lived across the road from us near the Friendship Baptist church. Their grown sons, James and Joe, were married and had their own families, and lived very close to their mom and dad. Their other son Jerry was younger and still lived at home. When any of these guys came to the store and told a story, you were in for a treat. James, in particular, could make anyone laugh. The story didn't have to be funny. James' unique style of story telling would always have everyone laughing uncontrollably in just a little bit. All of the Middleton men had a very unique laugh, and when they all began laughing at once, the place would just erupt with laughter right along with them.
Jerry bought himself a nice car and brought it over to the store to show us one summer's afternoon in 1973. It wasn't new, but had been taken good care of and was in really nice shape. I believe he told us he had paid $800.00 for it, which was quite a lot back in those days. I don't remember exactly what model it was, but we all liked it a lot.
After looking at the car for a bit, someone suggested we go swimming down at the lake in Broughtontown. My brother David, Scotty Taylor, and I all agreed to ride with Jerry so we could ride in his car as well as get to swim.
Upon arrival at the lane that led up to the dam of the lake, we saw the large mud hole that awaited anyone who tried to drive down this little lane. Up the lane about 50-60 feet, was a large puddle that never seemed to dry up, even in the summer. The lane was straight and not hilly, but it angled at about 45 degrees from one side of the lane to the other when you got near the mud puddle.
Most of the time, we would park our car before reaching the puddle and just walk the rest of the way up the lane to the lake. We weren't crazy about that, though, because when you walked back still somewhat wet from the lake, all the tall weeds you had to walk through left you covered with seeds and chaff.
This day, the lane was very dry. The only obstacle was the large puddle of water. Jerry thought he could hold his vehicle to the extreme right of the angled area of the road and slip past the mudhole. It was going to be a really tight fit, but we thought it might be possible, with only the driver's side tires barely touching the puddle as we eased by. We weren't all in agreement if this was a good idea or not, but Jerry finally proclaimed, "I'm going to give it a try. What do we have to lose?"
Jerry was driving the car and my brother David was in the passenger seat. I was in the back behind the driver's seat while Scotty sat on the other side. Jerry eased up the lane toward the puddle. Everything was looking good. As we neared the puddle, the lane angled sharply and it was hard not to slip across the seat.
Jerry had the car to the extreme right as far as possible. David and Scotty had to hold onto their door handles to keep from slipping down the seats toward Jerry and me.. We began to go past the puddle. About the time we were halfway past it, the back driver's side of the car began to slip into the puddle. Jerry floored it, but the back of the car jumped sideways and into the puddle.
As the car hit the puddle, it began to sink rapidly. It was unbelievable how deep this puddle was. Most of the back of the car sank and water quickly came up the side of my door and began to come in the open window. Dave and Scotty got out, and Jerry and I scrambled out the passenger doors before the car became nearly completely immersed. We all knew how those on the Titanic must have felt as the volume of water gushing into the car overwhelmed the car.
After exiting the car, we stood and watched as it continued its slide into the depths. After it stopped, 90% of the back of the car was under water. The water was clear up to the back window. The left back side of the car, where I had been sitting, was completely submerged. Most of the front was filled with water too, although it wasn't as deep as the back. Thankfully, the front of the car, and engine area, was still out of the water.
We stood there and looked at our plight. Jerry was sick about the destruction of the car he had just bought that very day. None of us could believe how deep that puddle of water had been, but our mostly sunken car told the tale. The gravel road down to the lake wasn't (or isn't) traveled much at all and we were wondering how we were going to be able to summon help.
In just a few moments, a car came down the road. It was a mid-sized station wagon and we knew the two guys in the car. They stopped and got out. These two fellas were well known to us. They were probably in their mid 50's and both were heavy drinkers. They got out of their car, both drunk as skunks. Neither of them could hardly stand up. They surveyed the situation and offered to help.
Although they were drunk, we were glad to see them. Without them, it would have been a very long walk to get some help. The two drunk guys insisted we "sing a song together" before we pulled the car out of the puddle. The six of us had to line up, arms around each other's shoulders, with a drunk man on each end, and sing together, "I've been working on the railroad" before the men would be able to help us. We tried to talk them out of this, but drunks are hard to reason with. We got in line and tried to sing the song. After we'd start, one of the drunks would yell at the other, "No, no, no, you've got it wrong!" we'd have to start the song over again. After several false starts, we finally got it right.
They had a log chain in their car and Jerry crawled into the puddle and hooked it onto his car frame. I think my brother David got into their car and backed it up near the sunken car. By now, the drunk man's car was sitting angled nearly as much as the one that was stuck. We hooked the other end of the chain to their car frame. Before we could attempt to pull out the car, we again had to line up and sing the railroad song again. Again, after several false starts, we got it right.
The drunk man got into his car seat and immediately fell over onto the bench seat, as if he were taking a nap. His little hat fell off his head. We helped him sit back up and after we let him go, he fell over again. Again we helped him up and got his hands on the steering wheel. He started the car and tightened the chain and tried to pull the car out. The stuck car wouldn't budge, as those of us who were sober knew before we began. The old boy floored his car and began raining rocks in every direction, most of them hitting the only part of Jerry's new car that wasn't submerged.
We finally coaxed the old boy to stop. The other drunk told him to get out of the car because he didn't know how to drive. He said, "Let me show you how to do it!" We got the first guy out, and, before the second drunk would try his luck, we again had to line up and sing the railroad song. We were all getting better at lining up and singing the song correctly by this time.
We got the new driver seated. He backed up his car just a little, causing slack to get in the chain. He threw the gas to his car and took off, not unlike Mario Andretti. He snapped the chain into and flew down the short lane, across the gravel road, and through the fence on the other side of the road. He finally got the car stopped after running through the fence. We got so tickled we could barely stand it. It remains to this day one of the best driving performances I've ever witnessed. I have seen a lot of people take off fast, but this man's record stands to this day. We were all just very thankful no one was traveling down that gravel road when our boy went sailing across it, because he wasn't looking in either direction.
We got the second car out of the fence, ditch, and pasture and got it back on the road. We determined we'd have to have to go get James' wrecker to get Jerry's car out of the puddle. We all lined up once again and sang our railroad song, which by now was known quite well by all.
The drunks finally got my brother David and Jerry back to James' house and got a wrecker. I think they had to stop along the way 3 or 4 times and again sing the railroad song, although now they cast only consisted of four members. After a very long time, James, David and Jerry returned with the wrecker and finally, after several attempts, were able to pull the sunken car out of the puddle.
Jerry's new car was nearly ruined, and we never got to swim. It seemed as if it was a wasted evening, but upon reflection, we realized it hadn't been a total loss. We had learned how to follow directions, line up properly, and sing in unison better than we had ever done before.
